Friday, December 14, 2012

Personal Opinion

The purpose of this blog is to encourage you to take a look at different aspects of your life, and encourage you to seek the positivity in life to increase your overall happiness. There are multiple support groups, techniques, organizations, that dedicate vast amounts of time in spreading awareness about our overall perception of satisfaction in our lives, and I believe positive changes in attitude and in our spirituality from within, can alter our personal identity and ultimately change our vision on America as a whole. Whether you’re homeless, live alone, a child, student, teacher, or parent, I hope this blog helps you begin to appreciate your life, and challenges you to become more open-minded to increasing the overall satisfaction for yourself and the love you have for those around you.
            My name is Matthew Mincin, I am from Pittsburgh, PA and moved to Rochester New York, when I was a child. I am currently twenty-one years old, attending SUNY Fredonia, a State school in New York. I ran into legal problems my sophomore semester away at College, due to excessive drinking and acting out of control, under the influence. Some of the hardships I have been dealt, as a consequence of abusing alcohol, was temporary incarceration, probation, and a spot in the City of Dunkirk’s Treatment court.  I occasionally travel to my parents’ homes when I am granted travel approval, by Judge Drag, at the Dunkirk City Courts, but am mandated to stay in Chautauqua County during my breaks here, in Fredonia. This has been a traumatic event in my life, and has really taken a toll on me spiritually and emotionally. I never imagined that I would be walking in the shoes I do now, but life throws us curve balls now and again, and I believe that I have the capacity to learn from my mistakes and become a better person, as a result from my past mistakes. With the support of self-help programs, and in the groups themselves, I have been able to start thinking more positively, changing my attitude from negative thoughts to positive thoughts, which has increased my spirituality.
            In "The Polls-Trends” article, the common perception many Americans seem to agree upon is that the “American Dream” is mainly comprised of obtaining spiritual fulfillment.  One way to increase your spirituality is by self-help/ and self-realization. Self-help roots back to Early Colonial America and has become a very demanded topic of discussion in the 20th century. There are numerous amounts of Self-help groups available for those coping with drug and alcohol problems, weight concerns, and depression, meet all over the world. People willingly attend these meetings, to share their experiences, strength and hope with each other, in hopes to cope with problems that may be weighing them down. Although increasing spirituality must come from within, I believe that it is beneficial to those with problems alike, to open up to one another, and possibly receive feedback from those who have has similar experiences.  
            Based upon my experiences with self-help programs, I have found that what you put into “working a program” is what you get out of it. Many of these self-help programs encourage people to work a twelve-step program, in hope that the individual will better him/ herself and hopefully have a spiritual experience or a self-realization. One of the goals in working these steps understands acceptance and tolerance. I believe if people begin to accept the cards they are dealt, they can move forward, and begin to make subtle changes in their lives, by practicing spiritual growth and self-realization.
Changes in our daily lives that may trigger negative thoughts include, our environment, those who we surround ourselves by and the things in our lives. Opening up our minds to these variables in our lives, we can begin to learn how we are affected by them and possibly critique them in a more positive way. By changing our perception and thought patterns into a positive manner, I believe we can become happier and increase our spirituality. 
There are many available resources other than self-help groups that can help you practice increasing your spirituality. “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, is a book compiled with the collection of teachers’ thoughts and opinions that discusses the Law of Attraction, and how to use it in your daily life. The teachers in this novel believe that thinking positively will bring more positivity in your daily life. I don’t believe that this can be tested, but based of the evidence that the individuals portray in the novel seems to have worked for them. I think it makes complete sense, whether it’s the placebo effect or not. When I am thinking optimistically and positively, I tend to have positive feedback from doing so. Whether it’s my positive attitude and self-confidence in a hockey game, resulting in playing better, scoring more goals, or in my encounters with people and having a more positive attitude while spending time or conversing them, seems to result in more positive outcome. These better results that arise from staying positive, have increased my overall happiness and level of spirituality. 
When thinking about my childhood, i often question who i have become, as a result of my mother and fathers' parenting methods. As a child, my parents' were very supportive of me and allowed me to participate in the activities i claimed i loved doing. They paid for me to play hockey, allowed me to sleep over at my friends houses, and as a result i believe i had become a very open minded and well rounded individual, and have acquired the skills i need to pursue the life path of my choosing. I am very fortunate to have a very supportive family, and i believe that my overall happiness and spirituality has been derived from the freedom my parents granted me. 
On the contrary, In Amy Chua's 'Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother', she claims that her style of parenting will obtain "higher dreams for their children". She explains throughout her book her beliefs on parenting, and how "the strict Chinese way is beneficial". I don't believe the level of control that Chua had placed on her children, will benefit them in the long run. I think that her children would benefit choosing a path for themselves, and through trial and error, they would find out what truely makes them happy and what their dreams are comprised of for themselves. I believe that Chua is masking her perception of perfection on her children, so that she looks like a great mother. In all reality, her children probably were more robotic, than individuals themselves.

Monday, December 10, 2012

The Nation Of Futurity

In the Article, "The Nation Of Futurity", David Brooks analyses early European settlers and their motives for American settlement. Many of these settlers believed that "God's plans for humanity would be completed here, and that they could get really rich in the process." These Americans worked themselves rigorously, in hope that they would become spiritually and financially free. Many became let down, as they noticed they weren't living up to the standards that they had dreamed of. Brooks said "the faith is the molten core of the countries dynamism." and "This moral materialism fomented a certain sort of manic energy. Americans became famous for their energy and workaholism: for moving around, switching jobs, marrying and divorcing, creating new products and going off on righteous crusades."
As we have seen from earlier posts, we should start focusing on what truly makes us happy, and not so much on how much wealth we can accumulate.
Brooks also says that "It's the sense of living with baubles just out of reach. It's the faith in the future, which is actually more important."

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Sydney Banks - A Quiet Mind

Uploaded on Feb 15, 2008
Forgive Yourself and Others
from The Salt Spring Island Conversations

Our thoughts get us into trouble and it's our thoughts that get us out of trouble. If you're in trouble with your thoughts there's no sense in digesting them over and over again. You forget them, you forgive yourself. You have to learn to forgive yourself and other people, and unless you forgive, you'll go through life in a hell hole, to put it bluntly. And if you look with logic, you'll see what I'm talking about is common sense.

When a person is suffering because of their past, to go back into that past again and create more suffering, it doesn't make common sense. What that person needs is love and understanding to get over the trauma of the past. And if you give them love and understanding and the knowledge that it is a memory carried through time via thought, then there's the healing process has taken place right there.

When you forget the past, it doesn't mean to say you actually forget the past.

A lot of my past is beautiful memories, and there's nothing wrong with having a beautiful memor. A beautiful memory is a healthy memory, there's nothing wrong with that. It's when you have unhealthy memories that are creating your mental problem now: You drop those unhealthy ones.

And the healthy ones you realize it's just a beautiful memory. That's quite different.

And another important thing to remember: Each day in our life we have probably thousands and thousands of thoughts going through our head. Some are good, some are bad, some are positive, some are negative. Now this is where your free will comes in. You have the free will to use whichever thoughts you want to. That's quite different. You know, if you have a bad thought you don't always act on it. It'd be a terrible life if everyone acted on their bad thoughts. You just ignore them and you act on the good thoughts.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Charles Fillmore Quote

"The spiritual substance from which comes all visible wealth is never depleted. It is right with you all the time and responds to your faith in it and your demands on it." - Charles Fillmore (1854-1948)

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Parenting and Childrens' Happiness

In Amy Chua's 'Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother', she says "As I watched American parents slathering praise on their kids for the lowest of tasks---drawing a squiggle or waiving a stick---I came to see that Chinese parents have two things over their Western counter parts: (1) higher dreams for their children, and (2) higher regard for their children in the sense of knowing how much they can take." (pg.8)

Chua claims that her style of parenting will obtain "higher dreams for their children". Her book is about her beliefs on why parenting in the strict Chinese way is beneficial. But does her parenting really bring her children's dreams to life? Are these children really happy for themselves, or are they living up to their parents' expectations?

A study by Professor Desiree Qin indicates that "Fiercely pushy Chinese mothers, who heap pressure on children to succeed both academically and in their leisure activities, may in fact contribute to low self-esteem and high levels of depression." and "research from our study does show that when parents place a lot of pressure on their kids, the children are less happy." 

<http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2088117/Tiger-Moms-Studies-suggest-highly-pressured-children-prone-depression-anxiety.html>

Monday, December 3, 2012

Dali Lama Quote

"I believe that every human being has an innate desire for happiness and does not want to suffer. I also believe that the very purpose of life is to experience this happiness."

Friday, November 30, 2012

Increasing Our Spiritual Fulfillment

Self-help has been a growing topic in North America, studied by Americans in search to raise their overall level of happiness. According to the article "A Brief History of Self-Help", the study of spiritual fulfillment roots to the Puritans in early colonial America, in their search to better each individuals' feelings of self worth. Websters dictionary defines Self-Help as “the act or an instance of providing for or helping oneself without dependence on others.” Although Self-Help roots back to early colonial America, it wasn't until the 20th century that self-help has become such a wide spread phenomenon. Steven Starker, in his 1989 book Oracle at the Supermarket: The American Preoccupation with Self-Help says "self-help is an essential part of American culture," connecting it to American Independence and Thomas Jefferson who idealized the new nation as a place where "a man could rise in his station according to his merits and abilities."

If you're interesting in Attending a Self-Help group, read into the following article on what Self-Help groups are really all about.

Self-Help Groups